SMUT! Er.......

Penis Flytraps, um…. Well….Venus Flytraps?

Take a cat food can, wash it out, set it aside.  Make a small orange sized ball out of green fabric, add a mottled cotton printed tube of fabric with a red or pink ball top that you sort of ‘detail’ with pink thread and some textured yarn.  Stuff and sew that firmly to the top of the ball. Add silk plant leaves around the base using small hidden stitches, arranging the leaves so they cover most of the plain green ball’s surface – get creative with multiple style leaves.  Put a swirl of hot glue in the bottom of the cat food can and squish the ball down into the can.  Let it ‘set’.  Add a printed paper around the side of the can taped discretely, with whatever printing you want on it.

                 

I made them with and without the yarn, the ones with the yarn have ‘gone to seed’ so to speak.  They were a bad joke based on a small illustration I’d seen online.  I did up five at first.  They sold fast.  I made more. Those sold. I sat down and made 125 and THOSE lasted me five years, so now I am back down to only one or two here.  They all went for $7.  Where did I get 125 cat food cans?  I went on our local Freecycle list and asked for them.  A lady dropped off two big grocery bags full and I spent an hour washing them all out nicely, though I did have about 30 cans of my own from our cats. 

 

Word to the wise though – Outside of a few gay couples, men won’t buy these. 

Women like them for bridal showers, divorce parties, etc.  The most creative thing I heard from a customer was the lady who got four of them and was going to take them in to the STD clinic she works at for decoration on their main desk.  I love great ladies with wonderful senses of humor.  She was all smiles as she picked out the ones that had ‘gone to seed’.

These WILL embarrass teenagers of both genders.  I saw one mom looking at them with her 6 year old son in tow.  The kid pointed and asked ‘what are those!’   She was starting to pull a face as she turned to me and I just told the kid that they were ‘Christmas Cactuses’.  The mom’s face went from disapproving to a big grin. The kid lost interest (no kid wants a plain old plant) and the problem was solved!  It pays to think on your feet.